Homework
by Smart Angel
Summary: Find the ghost of the idiot who came up with the concept of school and personally make sure he would do suffer like Hana did in the hands of a certain female pink haired enka singer. - Besarki s Birthday Present! My Epic Fail attempt at Humor! Oneshot!


This was just ridiculous. A few hours ago it would have been funny, but now it was just pathetic. Hana couldn`t believe it. He was mentally going over the ways he could try to escape this room right now. Maybe if he was fast enough he could run out of the door and then to the street. Anna and Men may be fast, but Hana was the faster than both of them. Or maybe he could try going upstairs, going to his room, locking the door and running to the roof, then jumping on the back of the house and running to the center of the city by the back road. Or maybe…

"Hana!" a voice called "Can you try to pay attention for once in your life?! We need to finish all of this."

"I need to finish it, Anna." He answered, frowning. "You two can leave if you want."

"Yeah, and if we leave who is going to make sure you do all your homework?" Men asked, looking over his books.

"I will! I`ve always done it by myself, I can do it!"

"Yes, and that is the exact reason why we have to do three months worth of homework by tomorrow." Anna answered, and then pointed to the paper "Now concentrate!"

"But..."

"How did you even manage to accumulate all of this homework?" she continued on.

"I knew you were an idiot." Men said, smirking "But this is just beyond my expectations for you."

"Oh yeah?" the blonde sent a glare towards the boy "Try doing homework while having to complete Tamao`s training and doing all your Inn`s chores."

"I don`t need to. I`m a king, and kings don`t do homework or chores. And since I`m not weak, like you, I don`t need to train."

"Why you little…!" He was about to tackle the young Chinese boy, but the Patch girl sitting by his side stopped him, pulling him by the ear and making him jerk backward.

"Concentrate." She said, in her firm, annoyed voice. "Now, do this problem."

Hana cussed under his breath, looking at the paper. This was just great. Just great. His uncle really hated him, didn`t he? He enjoyed putting his beloved, perfect, amazing nephew through torturous situation, didn`t he? Right now he must be laughing his ass off, watching the young shaman having his rival and his… his… would girlfriend be the correct term? He wasn`t sure yet, but it didn`t matter right now. All it matter was that Tao Men and Anna III were sitting with him, helping him do his homework.

More like forcing, actually. Hana had no desire to do all that crap. Why does homework exist? Why does school exist? He was a shaman! He didn`t need to know that y=mx+b was the equation of a line! Neither did he need to know how to say the word "shit" in English. He could already say it in Japanese, why did he need to know it in another language?

A mental note: Find the ghost of the idiot who came up with the concept of school and personally make sure he would do suffer like Hana did in the hands of a certain female pink haired enka singer.

Speaking of the pink-haired devil, it was all her fault he was in this mess in the first place! If only she let him off his training a little bit, he wouldn`t have to be doing three months worth of homework in one day! Because of her crazy training and her crazy chores he didn`t have time to do his homework! And now his teachers were bugging him. They threaten to fail him! FAIL! Not even his father failed one year at school! His father dropped out of school, but that was another matter.

And this was so boring! Boring, boring, BO-RING! Who the hell thought said "OH, since school isn`t enough to torture kids, let`s give them homework as well!!"

Oh, and let us not forget to add to the list the fact that Anna and Men were the ones _helping_ him with the homework.

Perfect. It was just freaking perfect.

"Hana? HANA?!" Anna`s voice called again "Is your attention span that short?"

"It`s Hana we`re talking about Anna." Men said, smirking "He can`t pay attention even if his life depended on it."

"Yeah, that is true." Hana said, looking at the young Chinese "That is why I can still call you a pathetic shaman. I don`t pay attention in our battles and I still win."

"WHAT?!"

"I have to say," Hana continued on, sitting back "I already give you a break since you are so much younger than me, but to be _that_ bad? Are you sure you are the son of the Great Tao Ren and the former Holy Girl, Iron Maiden Jeanne?"

"I`m not a bad fighter!"

"Oh please." It was now his turn to smirk "At your age I was way more talented."

"And at your age I could have beaten you." Anna said, picking up a book and then hitting his head "And I was about ten times more mature. Now SIT DOWN! At this rate we`ll never finish this, and you and Men will end up classmates before you know it!"

"Yeah, right."

"Yeah, right." Men Smiled "I`m way more smarter than this idiot."

"If you were, you wouldn`t have said that sentence like that." Hana smiled.

"THAT`S IT!" Men yelled, standing up and creating an over soul "I`ll prove it to you! I`ll show you that I am better than you in every way!"

"Really?" Hana asked, holding back a smile "How are you going to do that?"

Anna looked at the little Chinese boy, and then at Hana. It didn`t take long for her to pick up on Hana`s plan and then smile in satisfaction. No, the blonde shaman was not an idiot. Far from it. In fact he was very smart. He was just lazy.

But… He wasn`t very good at planning.

"I`ll first beat you in a fight!" he said "Then I`m going to complete your homework in half the time you would have!"

"Fine then!" Hana said, picking up his Futsu no Mitama. "Let us fight then, Ice Cream hair!" he then turned to Anna and said "And you watch! You may learn a thing of two!"

"Oh, I will be watching." Anna said, smiling, and watched as the two ran to the yard and started a Shaman Fight.

She sighed. Asakura Hana. There were so many ways to describe that boy. Heir of the famous Asakura Family, son of legendary Asakura Yoh and famous Asakura Anna, nephew of the Great Shaman King; a 13 year old Shaman Protégée, _her_ future husband. He was also short-tempered, emotional, lonely and lazy. Very lazy, but very sneaky. He could trick you to do whatever he wanted, just like he did with Men. He is now fighting and then won`t have to do his homework. Men is too proud to give up after he shouted he would complete the homework no matter what. It probably worked just like Hana had planned. He teased the little boy until he got fed up and did his homework for him.

Hana… Did he realize he just put his grades in the hand of a 7 year old?

"WHAT?!" Hana yelled in the morning, as he looked over the homework that was on the dinner table, with a sleeping Men. "These… These are all wrong! And look at his hand writing?! Can`t this kid write Japanese?!"

"Well Hana, he is 7 years old." Anna said "He said he would complete it, he never said he would do it right OR in Japanese."

"But… But…!" Hana looked at her.

"I`ve been watching you since yesterday Hana." She then whispered in his ear "When do I start learning?"

He stepped back, face red, and then looked at her. "This… This is crap! I can`t give these to my teachers! They`ll fail me for sure!!"

"I know…" she said dramatically "What are you going to do?"

He thought looking at his homework. Had he said how much he hated homework? How much he hated school? How much he hated Tamao and now Men? He was the nephew of the Shaman King! He shouldn`t have to do things like that!

But he couldn`t fail either… If he did, what would Tamao do to him?

Okay, change topics. Thinking about the consequences was a definite nightmare fuel.

Crap.

He then looked at Anna, who was smirking at him.

"Anna, what do you think of the idea of becoming a widow at the age of 15?"

She shrugged.

"I don`t mind. I can wait for Men if you die."

"So… You are not going to help me get out of this one?"

"Nope." She smiled and then sat at the table "You dug your own grave when you didn`t listen to me. Now dig yourself back out."

"…"

"You are smart. You`ll come up with something." She then kissed him on the cheek "Now go away before I kill you."

Add Anna to the list of things he hated too.

Time. Add that to the list as well. If only he had more time he could come up with an excuse to why his homework looks like it has been done by a seven year old.

He was in so much trouble! Tamao would probably kill him, send him to hell and then back and then to hell again for failing this school year! Shit! Although the idea of going to hell was more appealing than facing both Tamao and his mother after he told them the news, he still didn`t feel like visiting that place! It was a couple of years too soon!

He needs a plan… A plan… A plan… Maybe he could suffer an accident? That should buy him a few days; although it would be complicated to get into an accident. Or maybe he could ask a ghost to push the fire alarm. That would work. But the ghost may be too late and then the teachers may already have collected the homework.

And the school was right in front of him! He still had a few minutes before class started so maybe he could…

"Hana!" Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap… CRAP! The blonde shaman soon felt someone putting his arm around his shoulder "How are you doing?"

"What do you want, Shinchi?" Hana asked, looking at the black haired boy.

Shinchi was a boy who had been in Hana`s class since he was 5 years old. He also had been the reason why Hana sometimes thought his uncle plan to kill off all the humans wasn`t all that bad. The annoying boy had been bullying Hana since he could remember. And while Hana most of the time made sure to teach him a lesson, Hana was always the one who ended up in the principal's office and Shinchi playing soccer.

"You are not planning to skip school again, are you?" asked the boy, smirking.

"Of course not." He smiled "Unlike you I actually am smart enough to understand the big words teachers use."

"Nice Ghost-boy." He said "Learned this joke with you friends from the other side?"

"It`s not my fault you can`t see them." Hana said, scolding. Of course they would go back to that. Now Hana did not spoke of his gift anymore, but back when he was a kid, he was very naïve. He never would have thought kids would make fun of him for seeing spirits. He never would have thought his gift was so rare, considering how many people he knew that also saw spirits. But he was wrong. Soon he learned his lesson and stopped speaking to ghosts in front of human, but those who knew him since back them, like Shinchi, still bugged him about it.

"And it`s not my fault you are a devil-child." Said the boy, in a dark voice "You know, your Clan is known to be a bunch of creeps who suffer from hallucination and kill each other. It`s no wonder you are so screwed up, devil-child. Do us all a favor, and just leave our school. It is for _normal_ kids."

And with that he walked away. Hana couldn`t help but frown. Would kicking Shinchi`s ass get him out of handing his teachers his homework? If so, Hana would be more than glad to do it.

But before he could come up with any other plan, the bell rang, and he walked inside the school. He walked a few hallways and climbed a few stairs, and soon he saw his class. Inside were the 32 kids he dreaded to see every day, including Shinchi. Like always they sent him glares as he walked through the classroom and sat close to the window.

3 minutes until the sensei came into the room. He needed to think of something fast. Right now he was kicking himself for not listening to Anna. No, he was kicking himself for letting Men do his homework. He should have tricked Anna instead.

2 minutes and Hana started to picture Tamao`s face once he said he would have to stay for summer school. Maybe he could try to convince him that school was overrated, and that as a shaman training with his uncle, Anna and Men would be more useful.

1 minute. What would he do? Fire alarm? Accident? Maybe he could pretend to faint during class? Would the excuse "Horo-Horo ate my homework" work? If they knew him probably, but considering none of them knew the ainu…

30 seconds.

29, 28, 27, 26…

"Hana!" a sempai called from the door, popping his head in the class "Asakura Hana, you are being called by the main office! It seems like you need to go home!"

"What?" he asked, eyes widening.

"Yeah, some lady called, saying it was a family emergency and they needed you home right now."

Hana was surprise. Family emergency? His family had no emergencies! Nothing was ever urgent in his family, nothing would compare to what they faced in the Shaman Fight! So what the…

"Hana-dono!" he heard a familiar voice calling out the window. He looked to the side and saw Bason, floating behind Men and Anna by his side, with a smirk and holding his cell phone.

A smile appeared on his face. He ignored the sempai calling him and quickly got his stuff and ran out of the room. He needed to thank the patch for saving his life later.

After he tricked her to do his homework for him.

**Well, that was my sad and epic fail attempt at a humor fanfic. See why I don`t do humor, Besarki? I`m made for angst!!! I`m sorry your birthday fanfic sucked so much! I feel so bad!!! _ Damn, it`s horrible, sorry. But I hoped you could enjoy the small good parts it had! I only did humor because you asked!**

**Happy Birthday!!!!**


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